The Start of Something

I am quitting my job.

There. I said it. Or, typed it at least.

Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but I am quitting. I felt the first inkling of wanting to make a serious change almost two years ago. I began dreading my daily commute, the grind, doing the same thing over and over. Being a network administrator means working in crisis mode much of the time.

It is not all bad. I have moments of great inspiration doing this work, but they are increasingly fewer and rarer. The flexibility is unbeatable, and my co-workers help make the job fun. The Security blanket is warm, cuddly, soft - and suffocating. I feel no passion for what I do and feel I have a well of talent that has not yet been discovered.

The leap is coming. I see the edge of the cliff on the horizon and it comes more in to focus with each passing day. But I am scared, scared to leap from this comfort zone in which I am barely challenged, and rarely pushed. I envy those who can just up and change something on a dime without concern for the repercussions. They seem to lack a fear of the unknown. It impresses me, probably because I used to be more like that. I fear the grind may have numbed some of that spirit and perhaps quitting will jolt it to life; serve as a forcing function to find a higher and better use of my skills.

So why write about it? Probably to process the fear. It is likely to be too good a journey to not document it, and sharing it might help make it that much more real: fewer places to hide if everyone knows what I am doing and can call me out if I shy away.

Yeah, this seems like a good idea. Totally.