Between A Lock and A Hard Place

Warning: The following is nothing more than an amusing story.


When I was five I somehow got hold of the key to the family car, turned the ignition far enough to disengage the gear shift, popped it into neutral and let the car roll backward into the street. Being scared out of my mind I did what any normal five year old would do. I ran.

This story has been told more than once in my family but now I feel like some sort of divine ‘passing of the torch’ has happened. Today, as I walked to school for my mid-term, I noticed a woman frantically yelling at her car. She stood in the street and rattled off a string of Italian and all I could really make out was the repeated use of the word “Do Do,” as in Do Do Bird. Come to find out she was shouting at her 18-month old who had somehow been locked in the car with the keys.

I won’t go into too much detail about all that went down but to sum it up - my curiosity got the better of me and I spent about 10 minutes trying to encourage an Italian toddler to either A) pull up on the door lock, or B) push the button on the door handle which would unlock the car. He did neither of them. But what he did do was drop a set of keys that he pulled out of his mom’s purse - dropped them right between the seat and door putting them firmly out of reach. He then went for the key in the ignition and promptly removed it. This key, mind you, is the one with the lock/unlock buttons on it.


For a few minutes he tapped the key against the window, very proud of himself for his accomplishment. And we cheered him on and encouraged him to hit the button, which he did.

He pressed the ‘lock’ button.

Repeatedly.

In fact, he hit it about twenty times and the sound of the doors re-locking themselves taunted us the entire time. Until...

*click*

He pressed the other button. I quickly opened the door and he stood there and refused to give up the key as his mother affectionately called him, “Do Do” repeatedly. I now feel as if I have in someway made up for my fore-mentioned antics. I just hope that karma followed me into my Microeconomics exam.

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#SAIS

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© 2020 by Mark Konold